The thief of Christmas joy

Even though it's 2020, and even though nothing seems to have gone right this year, here's one thing I know to be true: Christmas is coming. 

And this year of all years, I am so ready for it. I deck the halls with boughs of holly. I read my Advent devotional books. I light candles. I sing carols at the top of my lungs. I wish I could stand outside, mouth wide open, like a kid trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue—and that joy would just pour into me. I want the joy of Christmas to pervade every nook and cranny of my heart. 

Then I open Instagram, hungry for more holiday inspiration. And as I browse through all the beautiful images, I feel my joy drain away. Stolen once again.

I've done this so many times before. 

I see the beautifully decorated houses, and my own home seems plain and boring by comparison.  I get a glimpse of small but heartwarming family celebrations, and in comparison I feel cold and lonely.  I click through photos of amazing crafts and gaily wrapped packages and sugar cookies perfectly flooded with royal icing—and my efforts seem pitiful by comparison.

Even the good things I do seem to pale in comparison to others' work.  I hear that someone has raised thousands of dollars for a charity, and my gifts seem paltry by comparison. Or else I read that some parents give their children only three gifts, and in comparison I feel extravagant and embarrassed. 

Finally I realize that I'm doing this to myself.  I'm comparing myself to others at every turn. Instead of gathering inspiration online, I've gathered reasons to feel inadequate.  Rather than embracing the beauty of the season, I've turned it into a kind of competition.  

Am I the only one?  Or have you done it, too?

Comparison has always been my Achilles' heel. In fact, I struggled with comparison for so long that I wrote a book about my journey of wrestling with it and the ways I've found freedom from it. InterVarsity Press published the book, called Mythical Me: Finding Freedom from Constant Comparison. 

In Mythical Me, I tell a story that I'm remembering this Christmas. One week I was rushing around like crazy, trying to pack too many activities into too little time. In the middle of one of the busiest days, a friend asked how I was doing, and I answered honestly: "Frantic."

My friend pressed for details, and I shared them: in addition to the normal activities and responsibilities of the week, my son was celebrating a milestone birthday, I was hosting a dinner party for an important client, and I was preparing for a business trip that would keep me away from home for a week. With a haircut and a dentist's appointment thrown in for good measure, I had way too many things to do and not enough time to do them, at least not the way I wanted to do them.

And how did I want to do them? Well, I had great examples. One of my friends makes each family celebration unforgettable. Another is an ace hostess. Yet another glides through business trips with apparent ease. I wanted to perform at least as well as the people I was comparing myself to, if not better than anyone else could.

Had I stopped to think about how privileged I was? Did I pause to consider how rich my life was? Not one bit. Instead, I let myself be frazzled by trying to be the best at everything.

My friend prayed for me, and I heard God's voice speak to me. Simply and clearly, God said, "I made you to bless, not to impress."

Tears sprang to my eyes as I realized that truth. The reason I was working through my long list was to bless people. When I got stuck in comparing myself to others, I lost sight of that purpose. My talented friends had inspired me and taught me, blessing me with their examples. But when I started comparing myself to them, I twisted that blessing into a kind of contest that no one could win.

 

I'm determined to follow my own advice this year. So this Christmas season, every time I am tempted to compare myself to someone else, I'm going to stop and pray this simple prayer:

"Dear Lord, please bless ___________. Thank you for giving them beauty to share.  And please help me to share the beauty you've given me."

That's it.  Nothing profound or deep; just a simple prayer of blessing. Praying it certainly won't impress anyone. But I think its effect on me might be profound. 

This Christmas, rather than concentrating on how other people outshine me, I'm going to remember that we all shine because God has given us light. If someone shines more brightly than I do, that's okay. There's so much darkness to overcome. Someone else's bright light doesn't eliminate the need for my little light.

Would you like to join me? Maybe we can all concentrate on blessing rather than impressing. 

In 2020, like never before, there's plenty of room for all of us to shine our lights, reflecting the glory of the One whose birth we celebrate at Christmas.  

Memorial Day

"Render therefore to all their due. . . tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor" (Romans 13:7, KJV).

For some reason I've always loved that verse. On Memorial Day, it makes sense. On this, of all days, it is good and right to recognize those to whom honor is due.

Memorial Day was first called "Decoration Day." After the Civil War, a special day was set aside for decorating the graves of Union soldiers who had died during the war. And then there were more wars, so Decoration Day was expanded to include decorating the graves of soldiers who died in World War I. Then World War II. Then Korea, VietNam, the Persian Gulf. . . .

So many graves to decorate.

Finally the name was officially changed to "Memorial Day." It's not nearly so common for us to go to cemeteries and put flowers and flags on graves any more. But we can still remember. We can still give honor to whom honor is due.



But sometimes we forget. Memorial Day weekend is a busy time. We're excited to kick off the beginning of summer, and Monday is more a holiday that makes a three-day weekend for us than a day for special remembrance. A day off work, a day for cookouts and pool parties.

It occurred to me, though, that there is one group of Americans who always remember. The servicemen and women who are still living never forget to honor their fallen comrades. I was named for my mother's brother, Richard. He's a veteran, a Purple Heart recipient. He could have been one of those for whom this day is set aside, but he survived. I know he never forgets to honor those who did not survive. And now my oldest son is serving in the U.S. Navy. He and his colleagues will not forget to honor their fallen brothers and sisters.

I want to follow their example.

We are now 100 years removed from the horrors of World War I, yet the words penned by Canadian
physician John McCrae still challenge us to remember and to keep faith.

So let's resolve today to remember. To all those who have fallen in the service of our country, we give honor. Let's pause to think just how much we owe to those brave men and women who have given their all.

Together, let's bow our heads and give thanks for those who have freely given their lives so that we may live free.

Super-easy DIY placemats

If you're like me, you like to set a pretty table for holiday meals such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, but you don't necessarily own enough tableware for large gatherings.  I have plenty of china, but I seem to own placemats only in sets of eight.

When I happened upon this product in the wedding supply section of Walmart, inspiration struck.  It cost $5.00 a roll.



I measured one of my placemats and decided on a width of 19" per mat.  Then I simply cut the runner (it's so easy to cut straight across burlap!)



and fringed both sides.  (Just pull out however many strings you like to form a fringe; I pulled five strings on each end).

Voilà!  Instant placemat!


Now I can set a pretty table for four or fourteen!



I got a great idea for setting a table for lots of people when I was privileged to attend a bloggers' luncheon at the beautiful home of Shirley of Housepitality Designs.  To accommodate more people at the table, she turned her placemats lengthwise and let the ends dangle off the table.  Isn't that brilliant?  This would work easily with my burlap placemats.

Do you have any tips for setting a pretty table?  I'd love to hear them!

I'm joining these parties:
Inspire Me Tuesday at A Stroll Thru Life

Wow Us Wednesday at Savvy Southern Style

Brag-Worthy Thursday at Bless 'Er House
Tablescape Thursday at Between Naps on the Porch
Share It One More Time at The Everyday Home

Happy Independence Day

Can you believe it's already July 4?

One of my favorite stories about 4th of July celebrations comes from Little Town on the Prairie, Laura Ingalls Wilder's book about the small town of DeSmet, South Dakota.  Having survived the long, harsh winter, the townspeople are thrilled to celebrate the anniversary of their country's independence.  Although they can't afford a grand spectacle, the townspeople gather for a celebration which includes the reading of the Declaration of Independence. 

When I first read this book many years ago, I was amazed at the idea that the Declaration of Independence would be read aloud at a 4th of July celebration.  Even more amazing, though, was the next statement:  "Laura and Carrie knew the Declaration by heart, of course."

What?  Can you imagine?  So beloved was this document that schoolchildren once learned it by heart. 

"Laura and Carrie knew the Declaration by heart, of course, but it gave them a solemn, glorious feeling to hear the words.  They took hold of hands and stood listening in the solemnly listening crowd.  The Stars and Stripes were fluttering bright against the thin, clear blue overhead, and their minds were saying the words before their ears heard them."

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth the separate and equal station to which the laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. . .

When the Declaration has been read,  Pa Ingalls leads the townspeople in singing "America," the relatively new song set to the old tune of "God Save the King":

Long may our land be bright
With freedom's holy light;
Protect us by Thy might,
Great God, our King!

After hearing the Declaration of Independence read aloud and singing that song, Laura is struck by an amazing thought. 

"The crowd was scattering away then, but Laura stood stock still.  Suddenly she had a completely new thought.  The Declaration and the song came together in her mind, and she thought: God is America's king.

"She thought: Americans won't obey any king on earth.  Americans are free.  That means they have to obey their own consciences.  No king bosses Pa; he has to boss himself.  Why (she thought), when I am a little older, Pa and Ma will stop telling me what to do, and there isn't anyone else who has a right to give me orders.  I will have to make myself be good.

"Her whole mind seemed to be lighted up by that thought.  This is what it means to be free.  It means, you have to be good.  "Our father's God, author of liberty--"  The laws of Nature and of Nature's God endow you with a right to life and liberty.  Then you have to keep the laws of God, for God's law is the only thing gives you a right to be free."  (Little Town on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder,  New York: HarperCollins, 1969, p. 76.)

Oh, how I wish that more of us could understand what Laura understood that day!

Happy Independence Day to you!

Side dishes for your Easter dinner

Planning a special brunch or dinner for Easter?  Here are three side dish recipes that are easy to make and mouth-wateringly good!  And these are all especially good with ham, so if that's on your menu, you may want to make one or all of these!

Potato casserole is delicious for a brunch or dinner, and this recipe is a little different from the usual--and it's the best I've ever tasted!



Another dish that's a little different but absolutely scrumptious is Baked Apricots.  These will have your guests coming back for seconds--and asking for the recipe!



And if you need something that's super-easy to make and foolproof, try this five-ingredient Holiday Salad.

Do you have any holiday meal favorites?  Do you have recipes to share?

**I'm joining Amanda at Serenity Now for Weekend Bloggy Reading.**

Valentine's Day Decor

Valentine's Day is fast approaching!  I love decorating for Valentine's Day.  After all the excitement of Christmas, it's fun to have a little holiday to celebrate, don't you think?

Here are tutorials for a few simple projects for your Valentine's Day enjoyment.

Click on the links below for easy, inexpensive tutorials for each of these projects.

"Love never fails" pillow tutorial

Custom Valetine's cards tutorial

Super-easy heart pillow pillow tutorial

Inexpensive Valentine's candle 

DIY Valentine's wreath tutorial

Do you decorate for Valentine's Day?  Have any special decorations you'd like to share?  Please tell us about them in the comments!

Christmas House Tour

The halls are decked and our house is ready for Christmas.  Join me for a tour!

The front porch:


Since the porch is an outdoor living room, I like having a Christmas tree in the corner!


Inside, our decorations are simple this year.  Our son Preston had surgery on December 14, and I had just didn't have time or energy to get out every decoration.  But I think things still look festive, so I'm really glad for you to come in.

Opening the door:


Peeking inside:


And now with the door thrown open wide:


Just inside the front door, looking into Jack's study:


The study:


The cowhide ottoman was a new purchase this year.  It's one of my favorite things and brings a touch of whimsy to this very traditional room.  Just look at the texture of the hide:


The simple mantel in the study:

The living room mantel:

And on the other end of the living room, our tree:

The dining room:


The kitchen:

Yes, that's a Lego Advent calendar on the counter.  Of course.

(Pottery Barn-inspired NOËL tutorial here)

(Peppermint stick candle tutorial here)

And the screened porch:

I'm joining these wonderful parties:

Christmas House Tours at The Inspired Room

Christmas Tour of Homes at Kelly's Korner

Christmas Tour of Homes at Nesting Place

Wow Us Wednesday at Savvy Southern Style