Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A heart too full


I knew it was coming.  I've been preparing for this day all summer long.

Mom valiantly holding back tears at the airport
Today my oldest son, Will, left home.

He's headed to the other side of the world.  Where his mom won't be able to see him for many months.

Watching him go through security, wishing I could go with him to the gate

I am so proud and grateful and humbled that Will would go.

I am immeasurably glad for him to go.

And I am so very sad for him to go.

See that blur?  That was my last glimpse of him as he headed off.  

My heart just isn't big enough to hold all these feelings.  I think it might burst open.

Or maybe bits of it will just leak out, a few tears at a time, until it can fit in its proper place again.

37 comments:

Leslie {Goodbye, house. Hello, home!} said...

OH!
My girls just came back from the other side of the world, too: South Korea. They were gone two weeks. My heart was full and proud and sad and elated. Blessings and an adventure to Will and peace and tissues to you...
Love, me

Dawn said...

oh my sweet friend... I am saying a prayer right now. for his safe travel and safety for while he is away. for him to be over-filled with God, so that God spills right over in all Will does. and for you, as you process your happy and sad... as we have talked about before... this is what we prepare them for... the going. he will be amazing... and you will be amazed by his stories. hang on... sending you love!!!

Marty Walden said...

2 years ago my oldest son went off to college and my oldest daughter got married 6 weeks later. It was exhilirating and heartbreaking at the same time. My son is planning on international missions to France when he completes seminary. I can't even imagine him gone yet I am so proud and grateful and humbled. Praying for you!

Art and Sand said...

When our first child left for college, I was a basket case. It was before cell phones and e-mail so we rarely heard from him. When we went into the Peace Corps, the hardest part was separation from family. Today there are so many ways for us to communicate.

You son is doing a wonderful thing and will come home so enriched and I know you are very proud of him.

New Every Morning said...

Oh, sweet Richella. Praying for you right now. Tears are welling up for you, too. These momma-hearts sure take a beating, don't they? The pride (the good kind) along with the pain of letting him go is like putting your heart on the tilt-a-whirl at the fair. What a blessing, though, so see the fruit of your labor travel the world spreading the Word of truth. Hugs today.

Lisa @ Texas Decor said...

What a wonderful son you have there! I'm definitely adding you both to my daily prayers. :) He is truly accomplishing great things. :)

Denise In Bloom said...

Oh I hear you, and am right there with you. I am not prepared. My oldest son leaves this January to live in AU for a year and attend Bible school. I am sure I will be a mess. (HUGS)) to you!

motherofknights.com said...

Dear Father, we know that you are with Will on this journey and that you are equally with Richella here in the States. Thank you for sending him and give him protection and effective ministry there. But Lord, please comfort our friend as she aches at the thought of him going and how much she will miss him. Send her little 'roses' that will speak to her heart of your peace. In Jesus name, Amen!

Tricia @ The Domestic Fringe said...

This made me tear up a bit for you. I'm not even ready for my baby to go to middle school this year. I can't imagine the other side of the world.

Prayers for you.
~FringeGirl

Anonymous said...

Dear Lord, we pray for Will that you will give him traveling grace. That you will bless him each and the people he comes in contact with. We pray that you will be with his Mother and give her the peace that she needs each day. Wrap your loving arms around her. In Jesus name, Amen.

Scooper said...

Well. Of course I'm crying. How generous and right of you to let him go. After all, it's what we prepare them for, right? And what a good work he is doing! But oh, as a mama, my tears leak right along with yours. This is surely so hard.

Yes, I'll pray.

The Pennington Point said...

Waaaahhhh!!!!

Oops, sorry. I couldn't keep it in. I have no idea how you did that. I'd be in the car afterward bawling my eyes out with both grief and gratitude.

Good for you mama! Job well done. We'll be praying for your precious boy. Lisa~

Debby Ray said...

Oh, bless your heart. I've never been separated from my children for that long. what a bittersweet experience for sure. I know you know the One who will you through this next year.

God bless you!
Debby

Kathy Olson said...

I understand and I will pray for you both!!!

kristinwithani said...

So thankful he's going!

And representing the Bulls in EA.

"Months"??? Does that mean you'll be able to go visit? I hope so.

living from glory to glory said...

Dear Richella, Okay now I feel like crying too!
You have given of your choicest offering. But I will tell you that you will find yourself crying for the seperation at the most tender times. A Mother's heart has been exercising for this since birth of each child.
Blessings, Roxy

dee said...

Praying for Will and you.

Stacey said...

I'll pray for all of you. It's hard when they just go to college. Across the world? I can't even fathom.

Jackie said...

I am so encouraged to see the wonderful, smart, articulate young people who are answering God's call to Missions. What a handsome young man! I do pray for your whole family!

Anonymous said...

I've got to stop reading these wonderful blogs....I cry too much!! May God fill your heart with His peace and we already know He has made the paths straight for sweet Will. Cry when you want to...I believe those tears are the cleansing and healing refreshment for our "Mom Hearts". Praying for you and your family! --Marti

Linda said...

How wonderful to have such a fine son! I know your momma's heart will miss him terribly...but I also know you are very proud of him!

((Hugs)) to you and prayers for a safe journey for your son.

Love, Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Cynthia said...

I will pray for all of you. Especially Will, that he is safe, happy and healthy. I can't imagine how this feels, we have no children. But I can remember my mom when we went o college and just left the house because we got married. We were just a few towns away not across the world. Keep your faith!!

Liberty said...

Oh tears. That blurry pic with the arrow - broke my heart. and I know there's an element of proud joy in there, but some days it's okay and necessary to just feel the sad part.
Joining hand and hearts with you praying for him...
and of course for you too!

IGBOK

Anonymous said...

I just started bawling reading this. I have two boys and my baby starts kindergarten in two weeks and I feel just a bit lost and oh so sad. I dread the days they leave our homes but like you are saying I know I'll be so proud of them. I just wanted you to know I have kind of come to look to you as a mentor mom with your faith and having boys. You seem like such a faithful woman and great mom and I hope you know that. I can't wait to see your posts on his life in the next year and I know God is holding your heart in his arms. Thank you for your blog and sharing your life and faith.
Missy

Gypsy Heart said...

My heart goes out to you! I know you're so very proud of him...and he will do wonderful things. Yet, it's so hard to see them leave and be so far away...truly a time to "let go and let God" isn't it?

My prayers for you and for him will continue.

xo
Pat

Fairhope Supply Co. said...

I have a handsome red headed son who has one more year at home, so I'm in tune with what you are experiencing - on a smaller scale. Bless you for sharing him with the world.

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

I will keep you both in prayer. God Bless. Hugs, Marty

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

Prayers for your brave Jesus filled boy and his brave mama- God's got this!

martha brady said...

i well remember when our oldest daughter went to ukraine for a 2 yr. short term mission assignment. i can identify with your feelings. saying good-bye to her and watching her walk through security alone was heart wrenching! God protected her during those 2 years and the 4 years after that! at the end of the 4 yrs. she met a young man who came over on a mission trip. they are now married with 2 children and have been in ukraine for a short term assignment. soon they will return to seminary for her husband to finish. it was her favorite job...very challenging. made wonderful friends!

Gail @ http://biblelovenotes.com said...

I can feel your pain. After homeschooling my two and being with them constantly on a daily basis, they both went to Ukraine for a year. And this was before we had internet or Skype. It was tough!!
Praying God will give you peace and even joy in this, but you will miss him bunches. : )

Lori said...

Oh yes, I just wrote about this on my blog -- It's called "Motherhood is a Series of Letting Goes." Perhaps you will find kinship there: http://lori-benotweary.blogspot.com/2013/08/motherhood-is-series-of-letting-goes.html.

So many sons leave their mommas behind to do those things that bring her heartbroken, hopeless tears. What a God-gift that your son is leaving to bring glory to His name. But these are the children, the ones with God inside them, that we miss the most, because their presence brings us joy, not grief. May you rest in the comfort of our loving Lord, who's more than able to meet your (and his) needs today. Praying for you both.

Maria Elena said...

Oh, I know how you feel! Our son is serving in the US Navy and his ship was deployed to the Middle East last March. It is so very hard! How wonderful what your son is doing! Praying for both of you!

Amy Jung said...

I would think...yes...way tooo many emotions. How bittersweet. I can't imagine a finer moment as a Christian parent but then...also so heart wrenching. Blessings to you as this becomes your new normal...

Shelly W. said...

It's what we pray for and what we fear the most as parents, isn't it? We want our kids to follow God's call, to do His will, to serve, and yet, there's still that element of fear (?), of apprehension, of wanting to go ahead of them and forge the way as we've always done. You have prepared him well and he is safe in God's care. Let's trust that together, huh?

Betty@SouthernGrace said...

Oh Richella...that made me want to cry. Be proud he is trying to follow God's will for his life~as I know you are. God loves him even more than you do. He will protect him. But the mother side of me cries with you.

Donna~One Simple Country Girl said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My only child (20 year old son) is in the Air Force and has been deployed to the Middle East since March of this year. He is scheduled to return to the States in October and I am counting down the days. I haven't actually seen him or hugged him in person since August of 2012. It is so hard some days to keep it all together and not let my fear and worry take over. I miss him so very badly, but I am so proud of the fine young man he has grown into. God has richly blessed me by letting me be his Mom. I pray daily and nightly for his safety and I will add your son to my prayers as well. (((hugs)))

Deidre said...

Oh, Richella, I can't imagine. It must seem like an odd place to be ... so proud of him, yet sad as well. Asking the Lord to put you on my heart often so I can lift you up in prayer!

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