Not that there's anything wrong with fifth grade, mind you. For me, though, that was the year most characterized by this note:
I like you.
Do you like me?
Check yes or no.
______ yes ______ no
Did you do that? Was I the only one who lived in fear of getting the wrong check? No, I would not go back.
Last week, though, I took myself back. See, I started this blog some time ago, but I let it go. When I decided to re-start it earlier this month, I revisited my original intentions in blogging, and I found that I still wanted to do the same thing. I still want my blog to be a bit of a window on my soul. And I still want it to be a means of imparting grace. But late last week, I began thinking: "What if no one reads this post? What if no one comments on it? What if it's boring? What if it's irrelevant? What if? What if?? What if???"
And I was right back in fifth grade, afraid that someone--or everyone--would check "no" for me.
That's enough of that. Fifth grade was bad enough when I was 10 years old. I don't think my 45-year-old self can handle it.
So I'm hoping that some folks will read my blog. I'm hoping that some will be blessed by it. And I'll try to make it attractive to new readers. But I'm not going to stress about it any more. I'm going to be happy just being myself, and I'll trust that being myself will be enough.
Even though some people will always check "no," there might be some who will check "yes." After all,
You might not need me, but you might.
I'll let my head be just in sight.
A smile as small as mine might be
Precisely your necessity.
Shared with Emily's "Tuesdays Unwrapped" at Chatting at the Sky